How could you tell me that you understood, yet take it out and throw it back in my face now, again?

I don't understand. I really don't understand.

This is turning into a sad blog again. But I managed to keep it happy for a while. Haha.

Well, anyway. Shouldn't communication between people become easier and better as time passes? Cos there is better understanding and all that.

Or does communication break down because people simply just cannot be bothered anymore?

You know. I would really like to be able to press rewind and go back right to the start. Then I will rectify all the mistakes I've ever made, and maybe you will too. Cos I think that we haven't really learnt from our mistakes, we only added on more of them.

Things are not peachy. Maybe like what you said, we need a break. But I'll wait and see, because.. I have faith. In you, in me, in us.

I've been thinking.

About my life, which is a complete failure. I suddenly feel so shallow and empty and without a purpose.

I excel in nothing. I am not particularly committed to/passionate about anything. I have absolutely no goals and aims. I have done nothing that I can be proud of in my almost 18 years of life.

I am probably the laziest person alive. Even if I'm too lazy to get my too small ass off the couch to do something meaningful and enriching to my life, I should be at least be studying hard and achieving academic excellence right? But NO, not even that. I am so lazy, that if I can afford it, I can lie around in the bed/sofa the entire day. I lie down and read, lie down and study, and lie down and eat and drink if I can. Sometimes I even hold my bladder until I absolutely cannot take it anymore before I go to the toilet, simply because I can't be bothered to move. Now you get the idea.

Now I'm wondering like what the heck am I doing. Honestly, I do not want to waste my life away like this.

I swear I'm going to turn my life around.