I just remembered something I wanted to blog about a long time ago but didn't, and since I'm so bored now I must as well do it.

That day I was on the bus home with Weeshian. Then he said hi to this guy. So I thought, oh must be someone he knows, cos the guy said hi back. I mean, anyone will think so right?Then Weeshian went on to ask the guy where he was going and the guy replied saying that he was going to meet a friend. After this the guy alighted. Then after a while Weeshian turned to me and you know what he actually said? He said that he mistook that guy for his cousin!!!

Haha. So strange right. If you think about it it's already so weird not to regconise your own cousin. It's even weirder if that guy didn't know who Weeshian was yet he was so friendly! If it was me I will be so puzzled if some stranger came up to me and said hi. I think I will ask the person if I knew who he/she was, and not make small talk. Maybe the guy thought he knew Weeshian too.

I wonder if it's meant to be. That we know some people and don't know other. I'm a strong believer of fate, cos I can't find better reasons to account for the people who come into our lives. Whether they stay or go, I think they in our lives to teach us things and help us grow. Just like how we are in other people's lives for a reason too.

Anyway, my brother was saying that he thought it was stupid to talk to babies using baby talk. He said that it would only make the babies less intelligent because you're indulging your baby in unintelligent and silly language. Like when when you want your baby to eat, you just say Eat, you don't go Mum mum, like what people usually do. Haha. Quite true, huh. Why on earth do people baby talk to babies anyway? I was wondering. We don't actually remember anything from before we learn how to speak right? You think babies actually think/understand anything during that period of time? Maybe the moment they learn how to speak they forget everything before that cos then they understand what's going on around them and they cannot comprehend not understanding. But then again learning and understanding is a gradual process and not something that happens in a split second huh. I wonder how it really happens. How come we cannot remember anything!! The human brain is so intriguing.

Oh I read Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. That's the last of his books I read. All his books are like the same! The mastermind is ALWAYS someone you wouldn't expect. Or rather someone that pretends to be concerned about what's going on but end up he's the mastermind. Then everyone will feel cheated/shocked. And he always manage to slip in some love story in the plot. Haha. You know maybe he's trying to say through his books that humans are unfathomable and while there is love in this world, there are lies and deception too.

Haha. I took Mo's advice and now everyone and anyone can leave comments! Yay. But I got a guestbook anyway.

Oh look at Mo's comment! She was wondering where does all the stuff go since black holes doesn't seem to have depths. But then even if black holes have depths the stuff can't possibly stay in there cos then it won't be a vacuum anymore and it will stop sucking in stuff. And I suppose the vacuums remain as vacuums right? So the stuff it sucks in just... disappears into thin air. There wasn't even air to begin with. So that means you can't atomise if you get sucked in either right? Cos atoms are still something even though you cant see them and there isn't air for the atoms to integrate into. You know what, there must really be another dimension, and that dimension must have alot of rubbish.

Why does every one think that we can time travel? It doesn't sound logical to me that you can turn time back. Then how come there isn't such technology now? Well anyway if we really can time travel then it'll be so cool! I wonder if we can change stuff while we're time travelling too. Then we can go back in time and fix problems like pollution so Mother Earth wouldn't be in the state it is in now. And we wouldn't have to put in so much effort to cut down carbon dioxide emissions. But then alot of people will lose their jobs.

Oh Mo! I didn't realise that you watched that show too! It was so sad!

Anyway, I was in town with Shunhong on Sunday and this two people approached us to do a survey. It was a Da Vinci Code survey. Haha. Shunhong thought they were doing PW. I thought it was pretty obvious that they were from Church. And they started asking us questions like whether we think the stuff in the book are true and shared some experiences with us cos we weren't Christians. So after that I asked Shunhong whether he will go to Church when he grows up and he said of course and that he will want his children to go to Church too. I asked him why, and he said because his heart tells him to. Quite right huh. I suppose it will be wierd to have been in a methodist school for 10 years and not believe in Christ. But his parents goes to the temple and when you're young you just do whatever your parents do. Oh well he said that actually he should alr be going to church.

Oh, I saw an advertisement on television for NUS Business School. It shows this Caucasian girl who just received a letter saying that she've been accepted to NUS and she and her mom just went SINGAPORE! with absolute joy. Haha. It's kinda corny, cos it just doesn't seem right that Caucasians should think that it's prestigious to come to Singapore and study in NUS. I know NUS is one of the better universities in the world. But all the really REALLY prestigious universities and colleges are in the western countries (the whole world wants to go these uni, not just Asians alone), and Asians always think that western countries are much cooler in terms of their lifestyle and size and all. So you always see Singaporeans go Wow! Yay! when they get to go overseas to further their studies, and the school doesn't necessarily have to be better than NUS. If it is, well, all the more better. But you would think its wierd if Caucasians are so happy to be coming to an Asian country to study, with all the western discrimination against asians and all. I wonder what the advertisement is trying to say. It looks to me like it's silently admitting that Westerners are of a higher class than Asians although the basic idea it's trying to convey is that NUS Business School is very good. Oh the advertisement ended with the mother telling the daughter that there are lots of cute guys in Singapore. -_-.

This is a follow up on the previous entry, cos I was just thinking about what Weeshian said about faith.

Faith is believing in something you cannot see. So that prayer I was talking about that totally didn't sound like it will happen is about faith. All prayers are about faith. All religions are about faith. Amazing how I just realised this.

I think it's so hard to have faith, and if you have faith, it's even harder to keep faith. But I think we all need faith, because well, if we base every thing just on what we see, then the world will be a whole lot less meaningful because there won't be anything to live and work for anymore.

Faith is such a powerful word. It has so much depth and meaning to it. Just like how Beautiful is such a strong description. And you know what, I think Shunhong is beautiful.

Passion AC.

You know, I think Christianity has fascinating stories. Can you call them stories? Oh well, okay, prophecies. Yea we talked about them alot today, and also about stuff that boggles the mind. Like how religion and the whole idea of a God came about since the beginning of the world. There are lots of religions right? So where did all these beliefs originate from? Honestly, I don't think there can ever be an answer to this.

Then we went on to talk about whether we can ever time travel, like go back in time so that we can answer all our questions about religion. Daryl was saying that he thinks it's possible to travel in time, as long as you can make yourself travel faster than the speed of light. Something just like how the light from stars that are already dead can still be seen on Earth. I didn't really get that, but I thought that if it's really something like that then you can only travel to the future and not back to the past right? Then again, what's the link between light and time and what about being able to travel faster than light that makes you able to transcend time? It seriously boggles the mind you know. Anyway I don't think we can time travel. Haha.

Then we talked about time as different dimensions. Like every minute, every second, maybe even every split second being a different dimension. And we also talked about just different dimensions in general. Sops was saying that those little black holes (which I didn't know about) in space that are just vacuum has so much energy (does vacuum have energy?) that if you get sucked into them you'll just atomise. I don't know if that is exactly what she said but that is what I remember. And then she said that maybe beyond the black hole its just another dimension. So I asked her what's in that dimension, and she said that nobody will know because anyone who goes in there will atomise and never come back out. Then Momo laughed and said that that's just like asking what is heaven and what is it like. Haha. I wonder if Sops was just talking nonsense. Oh and we talked about space suits too. Like astronauts have to wear space suits so that they can step on the moon and stuff like that without exploding cos of the pressure difference between your body and the vacuum in space right? Then I was wondering how does a space suit prevent you from exploding in space. Regulate the pressure? How? I can't imagine exploding from inside out. That's so horrible and painful but I think it must be an instant death. Then now I'm thinking if there is anything beyond space, as in the universe, and beyond that and beyond some more, or does it stretch to infinity and never ends. Maybe that's why you can derive the gravitational potential energy formula from the assumption that energy at infinity is zero and any object at a distance before infinity has a GPE and it's negative and use the formula for planets in space. But, what is infinity in the first place?

You know what, am I posing intelligent science questions or am I just being plain stupid by asking funny questions that sounds like science fiction? Haha, maybe it is and I'm just thinking too much. Well, back to the main point of religion. Just now during Passion AC they had a prayer about letting the nation be God's nation. I think nation as in Singapore. I was thinking how is that even remotely possible when Singapore is a secular state and is multicultural? Sounds so GP but yea how is Singapore going to belief and worship Christ as a nation when we have different races=cultural difference=different religion=different beliefs and different Gods. Aiya I don't know if I heard it right cos they were singing and praying at the same time but I thought that's what I heard.

Okay, this whole entire entry is random and pointless because it doesn't make any sense and I do think I sound very ignorant and brainless. I'm like talking about a religion which I don't even understand and science which doesn't even sound logical. I hope I don't offend anyone who reads this and no one thinks I'm being stupid.

Went down to watch the netball finals against HCI. Well, HCI won, but the match was like nothing I've seen before. It was so exciting and so heart-attackish I kept forgetting to cheer. I'm sorry to say this, but the HCI netball team looked like it has better defence and their girls were faster. But I tell you, AC's netball girls were fantastic! They put up such a good hard fight and I really mean a GOOD HARD FIGHT. I think that's why the match was so exciting and they lost by such a small margin. Three cheers for the AC netball team!

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I was just thinking about stuff that I've heard that I'll rather not hear. Like yesterday when Mo, Daniel and I went for lunch at Taka and he had to leave for tuition after that so he said goodbye. Then after a while he smsed me and told me that he realised that he didn't say bye to me and he apologised for it. I was like Okay... cos all along I thought that he was saying bye to both Mo and me. But actually he only remembered to say bye to Momo. At that point of time I was wondering if I'm really that insignificant. Then after thinking about it, he did apologise when he didn't have to so I guess I'm not that insignificant yet. And I thought some more and realised that I myself forget people some times too, neither am I equally nice to everyone so it wouldn't be justified if I got all angry and upset over it.

Then today I was thinking about what Alaric told me once. Something like he knows "we" (I don't know who the "we" is referring to. Maybe he didn't say we but something else.) are quite mean to me sometimes, but I should really start being a better person. I wanted to ask when has anyone in class been mean to me, because I don't remember any cases of it. But I decided that I didn't really want to hear it and make myself feel more terrible than I already did. Maybe they really meant it when they insulted me and it's not a joke like what I thought it was. Maybe something else. Or maybe his definition of mean it's simply not the same as mine. While we're on this, I wonder if I did become a better person or not. I should ask Alaric since he was the one who brought it up. I shall ask him now.

Do you think that if I was nicer, more vulnerable and pretty and girly, people will be more protective of me? Haha was just thinking cos just now Weeshian suggested that Yuenkay take a longer way to avoid stepping down a wall of approximately 60cm? Then he helped her down when he couldn't find a way. I thought that was pretty cute cos I don't think anybody will do that to me. And there are lots of other incidents too that I won't mention but yea just wondering.

Oh anyway I should really get down to replying Tong's letter. But I've got so much to tell her that I don't know where to start with so I just keep on procrastinating. It's been like a month? I feel so bad. Hmm.

You know what. I think being able to dance is so cool!!

Honestly. I've always been full of admiration for those who can dance. Like last time when there was hk lessons there always was dancing. As in the really those that have to shake your ass and do body waves and stuff like that sort of dance. Of course it was simplified to accomodate people like me who look like clowns la. Yea, but there was people who can really dance, like Char, Wanjun, Sheila, Chermaine... and I'll be like Wow.

Haha. I've always secretly hoped that I can dance. Ok it's not much of a secret I think 1 or 2 people know it but I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO DANCE WELL! And I secretly like dancing too. Oh well I have bones and muscles that are as flexible as tree branches so I doubt my wish gonna come true. But I used to be able to bend all the way backwards ok. That was when I was still in Chinese dance.. er primary 3? Back then I already never showed much talent for dancing. Whole day get scolded by the teacher for not doing this and that properly. I still remember one time during one performance we were all supposed to lie on our side and do some pretty arm wave thing for a certain number of counts then roll to the front to do something else. Guess what I did? I continued doing my pretty arm wave after the designated counts and the music had alr moved on and I didn't even realised the entire group had already rolled forward. The teacher had to hiss at me from backstage. Haha how embarrassing! I was so traumatised I quit a short while after that.

Well anyway, next time when I have children of my own I'm going to make my daughter learn how to dance because it's just so pretty and glamorous! And I'm going to make my son learn the piano so that girls will be as impressed with him as I am with Shunhong. Then I'm going to make them take up some sports so that they will be sporty. Maybe tennis for the girl, and track for the boy. Haha I'm going to make such a terrible mother when I grow up.

I hate shows with sad endings. Why must shows have sad endings!! I just watched the final episode of this Chinese martial arts show with an ending so horribly sad it shouldn't even be filmed in the first place. What insane show starts out with 7 good friends and ends with only 1 left. I'm damn sad now I don't know how to describe the kind of heaviness and sadness I feel. Yea it's just a show but its so inhumane!

We talked abit about politics in GP class today.

Then after class I was thinking, why is politics so complicated and mean? If you have an office job, there are all the hush-hush issues and the stabs-in-the-back, and you go, Oh, those are office politics. Actually, I'm not sure if what I just said is true la. Haha. But whenever we try to get hints for exams from our maths teacher, he/she (this is for secrecy) will say "I don't know. I haven't seen the paper. I will see the paper when you people see it." And when we ask why, he/she will go "Aiya, politics, politics."

Being one of the politically apathetic youths, I didn't really understand what that statement meant. And even after the numerous GP lessons about it, I still don't know what politics is all about. And this is the definition from Wikipedia.

Politics is a process by which decisions are made within groups. Although the term is generally applied to behavior within governments, politics is observed in all human (and many non-human) group interactions, including corporate, academic, and religious institutions.

Well, anyhow, I think politics is bad. It probably has the ability to turn the kindest, most sincere soul into some kind of mean, evil and ugly warlock. But then again, will there be countries at all without politics? How about law and order? Will the world be in chaos?

You know what, I think I should just stop talking about something I have absolutely no clue about cos I'm obviously making a fool of myself here. ):

I think I'm so useless you know.

My mum asked me to email the CPF to ask something about her application for the Workfare Bonus Scheme. So I did. Then they replied, and I was like huh, what is the person talking about? But that shouldn't be my fault right? I mean, I don't know anything about the Progress Package/Workfare Bonus Scheme since it doesn't concern me. Well anyway, so I had to get my brother and he clarified some stuff with the person. Today, the person replied again and said stuff like ok we'll look into it and blah blah blah, and I wanted to reply to thank the person but I didn't know how to go about doing it. Do I say, Your kind help is greatly appreciated. Thank you? But that doesn't sound right. So once again, I had to get my brother to do it. ):

So useless right. I never liked writing formal letters in secondary school. The sentence structure just never seem to sound appropriately formal. I think I better learn soon. I'm almost 18!

Just now, I was thinking about chapel today. Then, I thought about Lifeng cos she led chapel today. I think she's so smart it's unbelievable. I'm damn awed by her every time I think about it. How is anybody capable of having so many commitments, yet graduate with distinctions in every thing including S papers? There's only 24 hours in a day. Ok, but this is not the point.

The point is when I thought about Lifeng, I thought about Shunhong telling me about what Lifeng said during Honours Night last year. And then I thought about Shunhong telling me that looking back, he's glad that his 2 years in junior college was so fufilling and enriching and colourful. I remember telling him to shut up, because I was so upset that my junior college years is exactly the opposite of his and it's ending soon.

You should see Shunhong's CCA record. It's 3 pages long and it's impressive. He did qualify for Honours Night right. There's @artikulation, Kronos!, EnCOre, SYF CO, college sports meet, college cross country, Track and Field nationals. His CCA includes Track and Field, Chinese Orchestra and Performing Arts Group. I suppose there's more stuff, but I can't remember. And despite all these time consuming activities, his results weren't bad. Good enough for him to secure a place in NUS Science, in UK King's College, and there was a place for him in Royal College of Music too, though he gave that up. It's insane! I'm JEALOUS.

My jc life, on the other hand, it's devoid of colours. It includes WATCHING @rtikulation, EnCOre, BEING PRESENT for sports meet and college cross country, CHEERING (only abit) for Track and Field Nationals. I had to be threatened with demerit points to join a CCA in my second year. It's Track and Field by the way. And now, I'm not turning up for training at all because my lousy attitude tells me that it's really pointless. My results are abysmal despite all the free time I have on my hands. It amazes me to think of how two people together can be world apart. Suddenly, I think I'm not good enough for him.

Anyway, I just remembered how retarded I am. I was watching Top Fun just now (watching that alone is quite retarded), and then there was a performance by the young boy who can drum really well? Yea, he was drumming to the Christian song One Way. At first I thought he was drumming to a rock song can! Halfway through then I realized it's One Way. Oh man, I hope I'm not insulting the faith.

I read something in a magazine while waiting for Momo yesterday, and it goes like this:

To find that special someone who fills your life - regardless of his or her calling, gender, belief or race - is a rare and precious thing.

And I thought, yea how true.

I'm feeling so horribly empty now it's just... terrible la huh. Roar.